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Today we have a review of a TV tuner for the masochist in all of us. Straight from the Fallen One himself comes HellTV! You'll cry! You'll scream! You'll rip your own eyes out with your dirty fingernails, gnaw your furniture to splinters and hump your toaster while it's plugged in to the 220. HellTV is a TV tuner for your USB Macintosh that allows you the freedom of never having to change your own channel. It does it for you based on a psychological profile it lifts straight from your mind via it's proprietary necromantic circuitry. Now I know what you're thinking, "Necromancy requires sacrifice, and I'm just not into that anymore." Well not to worry, cause as soon as it is removed from it's protective plastic bag and plugged into your electrical outlet, it sends out a combination phermone/catnip aroma that will draw strays from a six-block radius straight to your HellTV unit. The protective plastic bag also doubles as a disposal unit! After the initial spell is done, HellTV knows what scares you. Even the most eclectic TV watcher will soon be hammering their toes to bits after the second episode of V.I.P.! "No way, my stomach is much too strong for that!" I hear you saying. Don't worry, you'll soon be stapling your tongue to your desk after your first fifteen minutes of Teletubbies! Yes, we agree HellTV is arguably not as mentally draining as its leading competitor, and that's why we've chosen to review both of them today.
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